Monday, March 21, 2005

SpongeDob

SpongeDob's dumbass followers continue to send inane emails to Keith Olbermann:

You couldn’t make this stuff up. As usual, the last names have been removed to protect the under-schooled:

-- Barbara in Tellico Plains, Tennessee:
“There needs to be a stop on people who distortes Christians who speaks out on the truth of God’s word. Christians have the right to say what ever. Put a stop on this, or first thing you know they will be doing you the same way.”

Hey, Barbara? What ever!

-- Lindsey at the U.S. Air Force Academy in Colorado asks:
“What did Dr. Dobson actually say? Not what was reported. What were his words? His words were about a tv affiliate that is funded by gay/lesbian groups?”
I knew this day would come. The Queer Eye guys have bought their own station.

-- Cathy writes from Norco, California:
“We have watched sponge Bob for some time on occasions. Not all its subject matter is as kosher as we’d like it to be.”
Don’t let Dr. Dobson know about your kosher concerns.

-- With similar obliviousness, Frank from Albuquerque, New Mexico, has been good enough to reproach my “inappropriate toleration of pro-gay groups” by quoting one of America’s great writers:
“The genius of the United States is not best or most in its executives or legislatures, nor in its ambassadors or authors or colleges, or churches, or parlors, nor even in its newspapers (media) or inventors, but always most in the common people. Walt Whitman 1819-1892, American Poet.”
Um, Frank - I have a historical tidbit about Walt Whitman’s dating habits I think might interest you.

-- Kirtie from Oxford, Pennsylvania, apparently wrote after a struggle with the cat:
“Please try a litter harder to get your facts straight.”

-- Evelyn from Tigard, Oregon, had her whopper contained in her subject line:
“Subject: Misaccurate Reporting.”

-- And Belinda from Bossier City, Louisiana, sums it up neatly:
“I find it quite a show of hypochondria on your part that you absolutely refuse to find out the truth about Dr. Dobson’s comments…”

Sometimes they flat out stump you.

What would Jesus do? Clock these people upside the head, I suspect.

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